Doula for the Dying

We never know how someone feels about something until we do.

16 years ago I went to our local humane society and adopted an adorable white and black long haired cat; we named her Alice. My daughters were 2 and 4 years old and I was married to their dad then. We have so many stories and I have a love for that cat that is pretty amazing since I never really liked cats before then.

In between now and then, there was divorce, other animals, life, change of homes and through all that Alice stayed with my daughter's daddy. When he called me in tears the other night that Alice had died, my heart sank. The day before I was under the dining room table with her, crying my eyes out, as she lay dying. I was not surprised when he called.

What I am surprised about is when I went over there later to be with him, my daughters and Alice, our conversation turned into one on home funerals. We were talking about everything imaginable about death before this came up but when it did, it was on.

So now, after all the discussion of laying each of us out in the living room, in a hand painted, decorated cardboard casket (from Costco for 150$), and all the songs and such that we wanted, it's clear! Each one of us wants a home funeral. We want to be loved and cared for by each other, not strangers. We want to be the only ones touching, bathing and moving each other. We want the greatest care and tenderness and that can only come from someone who loves you. We want what Alice had.

Over the next few weeks I'm going to record our home funeral arrangements. Thank you Alice, my beautiful sweet Queen.